Think before you speak

In my very first post, I mentioned that my brother was bullied to the point where he had to be hospitalized three times for suicide watch. I know this blog is supposed to be my story but this is my perspective on one of the most vivid memories from my adolescence and really helped make me the person I am today. My brother that I am referring to in this story is named Clark. He is two years younger than me and we are both the middle children in my family. When I was a junior in high school he was a freshman, so we were able to spend two years together in high school. When Clark started his freshman year he was already used to the homophobic comments, whispers behind our backs, and “normal” bullying. But his freshman year things escalated.

His best friend, and first friend he made since moving to Warren, started to turn against him. This “friend” started calling my brother terrible homophobic slurs and constantly berating Clark and our family. The “friend” got everyone else in their friend group to turn against Clark and none of them would talk to Clark or associate with him unless it was to call him names or throw things at him in the hallways. Clark would come home from school in tears nearly every day. One day the friend’s dad called our house. My mom answered and when he asked to speak to Clark, my mom assumed it was to apologize for the son’s behavior. But the dad started screaming at Clark and told him to stay away from his son as he was a “terrible influence” and our “faggot family was disgusting and Clark should be ashamed”. A grown man was screaming this to a kid who was a freshman in high school. Clark hung up the phone sobbing that his best friend and his best friend’s family HATED him and us. It broke his heart. But Clark was too scared to talk to teachers and principles because he felt it would only make the bullying worse.

So I went to his teachers, and my teachers and our principle to talk to all of them about what was going on. The majority of the responses I received were sympathetic and “if we see anything happening we will not tolerate it”. Nothing was being done though. We were a small high school with an even smaller budget and we didn’t have any LGBT clubs or resources. The bullying continued the entire year without letting up or slowing down and three times he was admitted to the hospital. Thankfully he is still with us today. I don’t know if we can say that for other members of LGBT families and communities who have experienced similar bullying. It tore my heart up seeing him go through that and it showed me just how much words and actions can hurt and help. Clark just graduated from college with a degree in exercise science. He went to Nationals for swimming. He works in an assisted living home for mentally challenged patients. He is one of the best people I know and I am so thankful that he is here with us today.

If sharing this story can help someone else to not feel alone then this was worth it. If you read this and you go out there and you stand up for other people and be kind to them then this was worth it. If you are kinder and more open because of this then this was worth it.